BABY BLUE
The car rolled slowly through the dark woods of Lakeland.
The bright lights of the sun dimmed like an extinguished candle over the green rolling hills
Its sad reflection receding in the pasture.
I caught a glimpse of it as I passed a cow, hanging near the end of the barbed wire fence,
Imprisoned in a Dachau of our consumption,
the sun still perched in his eyes.
I kept driving and I lit myself another cigarette.
I have to quit.
Never been faster than fate or wiser than death.
One day it’ll bite my ass,
All these packs of Kool’s,
But I love the mint
Reminds me of mint chocolate Sundays after church.
Ghirardelli’s if we were good or store bought if we were broke.
Every curve reminds of death,
Every truck another chance at oblivion
I hate passing them but being anywhere near them turns me mad
An angry voice in my head tells me to merge with it
To end it, for what did it mean, a long journey and a lot of noise.
A big oil tanker truck that supplies gas to gas stations,
A roaming bomb, just to crash it and sent it all soaring in the air.
Reality hits you like a bucket of iceberg water.
Cooling the scheming ape mind
Blood boils and warms you up
It’s thicker than anything
Our will to live
Makes you wonder how bad we’ve had it
Yelling, shouting, and hardly understanding
Forgetting the basics
Forgetting to listen.
For getting to love
Forgetting to fuck.
And always arguing in an endless stream of irrational rage, resentment, and self-obsession.
What are we to do, but live as we’re intended?
Simply and with the possibility of love without possession.
Love is the root of all freedom,
Binds us and roots us in reality.
Only the lonely go crazy,
Because they belong to no-one.
And all we want to do is to love but life is strange.
No-one wants to die a stranger, we’ve made our thing and we ought to keep it going,
One giant party cascading into oblivion, but always together.
A family united will always stand and never be devoured by the brutal wind of time,
Because any-one who gazes into the dark eternity of time comes out mad.
It’s better not to stare too long,
Better men have fallen, all of them blinded by the sun and visions of revelations and reaching.
But all that is bright is not gold, the only “El Dorado” is happiness
Cosmic emptiness is pale against a pretty face,
a soft pair of lips and some baby blues.
I just want to love because loneliness is bullshit
Because a kiss can set me back
And because my heart is a stove
All I need is a match.
DREAM POEM
A soft whisper, sweet and meaningless.
You’re talking, but I
Can’t understand,
My ears are boxed.
I look back at the road,
And we’ve missed the exit,
But I don’t mind because I like to hear the wind howl.
I try to turn but the car won’t steer, it jams.
I start it up again but I can’t get it out of first.
It stalls,
You laugh.
I start it up again.
You laugh.
I melt a little. I’m embarrassed, I try to hide it.
The car is steady but it’s dark,
The headlights dim and the spot comes on and I start giving ‘em a real show.
I’m on stage tap dancing like you wouldn’t believe. They’re giving me a real roar.
I’m sending champagne back.
The world is a dark cave, but I’ve got a flashlight.
I look back at you,
But your hair has turned blue,
Your pink lips black.
Your breasts, empty craters.
You’re teeth, lovely spiders.
I look back at the road, it’s bad, it’s raining now, I can’t see a thing.
My eyes are haze and fury.
My hands, useless paddles.
ANOTHER DAY
Another day with feelings so grey,
With darkness so pure and unrelenting.
There is no point in trying,
No good in losing,
And no relief from venting.
When every day,
Feels the same,
And every night,
The bed is tame.
There is no point,
No hope,
No reason.
But alas,
All great heartbreaks come to pass.
The road is long,
And it is vast.
For every rose,
There is a thorn,
And for every tear,
The eye that cast,
And beyond,
The endless mass.
There is,
The figure of love.
A figure so lucid,
It is what dreams are made of.
If you want to dream,
Close your eyes
And wish it.
But me,
I search for this every day.
It’s no fun and no play,
To be on the run every day.
To not let your feelings crash into you.
So I’m fated for this,
To be a ghost.
Maybe one day,
To be seen,
to be heard,
to be felt.
But until then,
It is better to be invisible,
Because being alone is bad,
But heartbreak is unlivable.